I have found myself in the same exact place as i was last year. amazing how cyclical my life has ended up to last year. things happened to the day. emotions. decisions. its absolutely unreal. i am beyond obsessed. still addicted. fed up. taking every ounce of love i have in my soul, and trying something new. lets see how this turns out.
Todays Video - Roxy Music, Love is the drug
My official start to my 90’s was yesterday, June 1st. It’s easier for me to count down the days this way, plus I had set this tuesday for my official start, even though i have some clean time behind me. Did not work out as planned. I actually attempted 3, count them 3 meetings, which were CLOSED, and on my way to the 4th i got stuck in such heavy traffic i wouldve showed up 45 minutes late. At that point i was so frustrated, i turned around and gave up.
My new sober friend was around and we had dinner and talked geeky conversations.
Once I get my iphone back from the shop, i suspect this wont happen again, and I’m a little pissed that my attempts to make a meeting turned out with all signs pointing to NO. What’s up with that NA meeting search? Not cool :(
I’m making a point to call all the places in town I’ll be looking for meetings at today, just to ensure I don’t fall into the same trap again.
In the meantime, I’ve been putting away any money I have around to tempt me to good use, which makes it a lot easier not to pick up when i get the urge to do so, and honestly, the bills I’ve been neglecting (yes yes) are probably about due by now, so I have a lot of options on how to spend my cash as opposed to how not to.
Today I have some pictures to work on, my hair to dye, my house to tidy up, and my MEETING TO MAKE :)
This is day 2 and it will be done.
Todays Video - Jamie Principle, Its a Cold World
Makes me think of my current crush’s rekkid I’d like to swipe. Gonna have to look high and low for the specific one he has…..
So, this has been a fun filled weekend I suppose. Todays activity was SHOPPING, I spent some more of the money i was going to save on a vintage vectrex gaming system and a ton of shoes. Yesterday I had a photoshoot with a girlfriend, ALMOST fixed my iphone with mr sober friend (he’s the best, i traded him his services for a few edison record cylinders for the machine i gave him) caught up on some old cartoons there, visited my true blue friends and attempted to go out to the body and soul party, but alas, it seems i’m really not in a going out mood after all, even with my sober crew backing me up, and especially after i dropped my flash on the ground, knocking off the infra red cover. BOO. I spent saturday morning ATTEMPTING to open a safety deposit box, but apparently that proved too difficult a task to undertake and i missed hanging out at the pool with my cousin, so lunch at mom’s was was the only notable event worth speaking of.
Got a belt on order for the rekkid player, I’m getting excited about setting it up and am trying to clear space in my room for it.
Now then, tomorrow, we are starting it up. Im supposed to do 90 meetings in 90 days, I’d like to be a realist and do 45. If i make more, then more power to me. I’m wishing myself lots of luck, and tremendous fortitude to stick with the program :)
Todays Video- Broken Tables, Image of you
Found this while researching vinyl I’d be interested in buying.
Well, the past few days were as interesting as i could make them, dinner with my best pal, a comedy show with a girlfriend, and I dropped off an antique phonograph to a new sober friend. I’m sure they could all tell I was pretty much off my tits the entire time. I really wanted to clean my act up this weekend, and be ready to start meetings on tuesday with a few days behind me, but the pull was too great and i had cash in my pocket.
I was thinking about reasons why I wanted to get sober, i feel like I’m doing it for the opinion of others on lots of points, but I also know that my problem is unmanageable at times and the fact that I cant go a few days without proves that I’m addicted. I’ll touch more on this later, as for now, today is perfect, will hit the pool, and an old school house head party at coney island later :)
Todays Video - Freddy La Grande, Put your hands up for detroit
This really isn’t making anything easier, is it?